You're So True

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the character of Gilderoy Lockhart, he belongs to Queen Rowling and Warner Bros. I also do not own the idea of Gilderoy the Mouse Prince. We have Starkid and their wonderful genius to thank for that. This is simply what one would probably call a fan fic off of AVPSY.

It has been three years since I have infiltrated this wonderful world.  I finally found a way to shrink myself permanently and join the world of mice.  The populace that I found my way to accepted me as their better immediately.  With my magical charm and impossibly good looks no other outcome could have happened.  Since I have been working my way up to the top.  I am completely confident that I will achieve my life-long dream of becoming Gilderoy the Mouse Prince!

Just like in the Wizarding World I have caught the hearts of everyone around me.  Nothing stands in my way, except the one thing I never saw coming. They were not the uncultured swine I thought they were.

Sure I have brought technology and my magical abilities have wooed many a mouse woman, not to mention how my art collection has swept this tiny nation, but they were already organized.  Much like the world up top, this world is ruled by a queen. It has taken me years to work my way up to her courts, mostly using my award winning smile on the courtiers.  Now all I have to do is win the queens heart and officially become her prince.  The first of my three wives.

The first time I saw her was at an assembly.  She was going to make an announcement about something or other that may have been important, but I didn’t really care.  All I could think about was how good I would look talking from that balcony.  Her people were cheering and screaming waiting for her to come out.  All of her subjects adore her. When she walked out the door, I knew that winning her would be one of my greater accomplishments.

That is what leads us to today. 

I found out that the queen loves stories, but she can’t read.  She has storytellers that tell her what stories they have heard in the world of the humans, but she has grown tired of those old men and their boring, repetitive tales.  Step one to wooing a queen, give her something she wants.

I have snuck into her personal antechamber to surprise her with my witty prose that produces magnificent chortles like nobody’s business.  Except she is taking way too long, matters of state or what-not.   

“What are you doing here?!” a squeaky voice shouts at me.

“Ah, your majesty, how good of you to join me.” The queen is standing behind me in a gown made from hummingbird wings her people scavenged.   

“I will not ask you again Lord Lockhart. I demand to know what you are doing in my personal quarters.”

“Why, I’ve come to tell you a story.” I sat down with a flourish, just to make sure her eyes stayed on me.  It had the effect I was looking for, since she was looking at me I could see her eyes light up at the mention of a new story.

“A new story? Why do you think you could do better than my court appointed storytellers?”

“Your wise men don’t know how it feels to be thick as a brick.” I say, “So what will it be? Are you going to give me a chance?”

She stares at me for a long time.  Eventually she moves toward the seat just opposite of me. We sit in silence for what feels like a life time.  I notice the slight scent of Gouda cheese coming off of her.  Only the best for the royals, eh?   It’s not my favorite cheese.  It turns me off of her for a second.  Oh, well. It could be worse. I’m going to catch her anyways.

“Well, get on with it then.” She squeaks, avoiding my gaze.

I smile and start to tell her my greatest creation.  The better version of those stupid Harry Potter essays that Granger wrote all those years ago.  I maintain her attention through my tale of Potter’s first year of Hogwarts.  She laughs, gasps, and cries at all of the right times.  I finish my story and silence once again permeates the room.

“Is that it?” She squeaks. She is staring at me expectantly. “What happens to Lord Voldemort? What about the rest of his schooling?” Once again I am astonished by how intelligent this queen really is.  We will do great things for this nation.

Over the next few weeks I capture the queen’s attention the same way I captured the Muggle world, with tales of Harry Potter that never actually happened.  No one needs to know that.  In all that time, something even more magical happened, we became close. 

We are walking through the queen’s favorite gallery that was a gift from the kings of the snails. Lovely couple.  The gallery held rare works of art from the snail people, not really my thing but they did command the color green very well. She interrupts me in the middle of my telling about Sirius Blacks home Grimmauld Place. Not the most exciting bit, I admit but it does the job of making the reader feel more for Black when I kill him at the end, but she didn’t know that.

“I do enjoy our time together Lord Lockhart,” She sighs, “It has become a real comfort to me these past weeks and I have come to cherish every minute.”

This was my moment, I finally had her in my grasp. 

“I enjoy it too your majesty.  No one has ever enjoyed my stories as much as you have.” It was an easy lie, harmless enough, “And your laugh has become very endearing to me.”

She giggled, just like I knew she would.  The plan was working perfectly.  Gilderoy the Mouse Prince was within my reach. 

She stopped suddenly and turned towards me.  There was a fierce look in her eyes. “I think I have loved you from the first moment you were in my personal chambers.”

I pretend to be surprised, but this is exactly what I was expecting.  No woman can resist the charm of Gilderoy. 

“Your Majesty, I am beyond flattered.  I am also very happy, for I have loved you a great deal longer than this.”

“Even after all this time?” She moves closer to me, a smile breaking across her whiskered face.

“Always.” Oh, that’s good. I should work that into my Harry Potter tales somehow.  I still haven’t sent the seventh book to the publisher yet.

“You have made me so happy dear Gilderoy!” She grasps my hands and I can see her yellowed teeth in sharp detail.  “Our love will last forever.”

“It has been woven in the stories I have told and will be within all the ones to come.” I shout.  I hug the queen tightly.

My dream has been realized.  I will be Gilderoy, Mouse Prince!