Farmer's Market

"We are going to a farmer's market at 10 if you want to come"

I hadn’t seen my siblings in 5 months when my sister sent me that text.  I missed them so much that going and looking at vegetables actually sounded fun.  Especially since my nieces and nephews would be there to play with.  They were so much better to hang out with than stinking adults anyway. I told my sister that I would love to go.  My car was in the repair shop for a nail in my tire so I had to get a ride with her.  My oldest brother would be meeting us at the market.  I was eight o’clock in the morning, so I had a few hours to do my work that was piling up before this weekend. 

I got absorbed in the data that I needed to consolidate and the reports I had to edit.  I was in the zone.  The piles of papers that had been accumulating over the last three weeks was finally beginning to diminish.  The only sound in my house was paper rustling and Owl City music being blasted through a stereo.  I always work better if I have noise, and music is the best noise there is. 

I was so caught up in my work that I didn’t realize it was 11:30.  I frantically called my sister, maybe she misunderstood that I needed a ride from her.  I started to pace as the phone was ringing. Apparently when you’re a mom you can’t answer the phone when your little sister is in panic mode.  By the eighth ring she finally picked up.

“Sorry, the baby had somehow stolen my phone, what’s up?” she says, as if everything was okay.

“I thought you were going to pick me up. My car is dead remember.” I say critically. I was a little upset that she had forgotten me, especially since we don’t have a lot of time together.

“I am.” She says. I can hear the question in her words about why I’m mad. 

“It’s after eleven sis.  What’s the deal?” I reply.  Moms of little children can’t tell time either. 

“Yeah. I know. The market doesn’t open until 10:00 p.m.” she explains to me as if I am her two year old.

What kinds of farmers market opens after dark? Do they want a sketchy crowd to show up? Do people just steal all the food since no one can see? It was the weirdest thing I had ever heard of. Well, at least recently.

“That’s the weirdest thing I have ever heard of.” I tell my sister.  “What are you going to do with the kids?” I was really hoping to chase some toddlers around a tomato stand.

“They are spending the night with their grandparents.  Mom and Dad want to make sure you have a reason to go see them tomorrow so they wanted to kidnap them.” My sister laughs. My parents would have such an unnecessary sly plan.

“Oh, well I guess I will see you tonight.” I say, more time for me to work.

The day goes by in a flurry of flying papers and thoughts as I frantically catch up with my work.  Before I know it, it is the time to go and see what kind of market my siblings are taking me to.

When we reach the field, everything seems normal. There are stands all around the field with walkways in between them for customers. Lights are hanging all over, it almost seems like a festival instead of an outdoor shopping area.  I hug my brother and notice, he didn’t bring his kids either. My parents probably also kidnapped them.  Oh well, the night was to be spent with only my siblings after all.

Don’t get me wrong, my siblings are great, but their kids are adorable which outweighs great.

We walk into the field and that’s when I start to notice the weird things.  The light I thought were hanging around, were actually fluorescent vegetables.  They had somehow gotten the food to glow different colors and created environmentally friendly illumination.  These glowing food were for sale, but there was no way I could eat glowing food.  There had to be something chemically added to it that was not good for my body. 

The glowing food was weird but for the most part everything else was just a normal farmer’s market.  There were booths selling food and some selling jewelry. There was even one for different rocks and materials.  Some of those glowed too, but that was more normal than the stringed tomatoes hanging in front of the booth. My siblings were starting to get really excited as the time went by.  It was cool, but not that cool.  We went by what seemed like every booth in the place before my brother and his wife lead us down a path lit with cucumbers that shone blue. 

All of the walkways lead to the center of the field, there was no way anyone could avoid going to the center of the field.  There was a kind of stage set up there.  It was wooden and round, surrounded by eggplants and other squash that were giving light to the audience.  There were benches all the way around the stage and my siblings led me to one right in the front.

“You are going to love this.” My brother-in-law says, sitting down next to my sister. I can nearly feel the anticipation in the air as more people sit around us.  I can also see a few confused faces in the crowd and I can imagine that’s what my face looked like. 

Had my siblings been eating the glowing food? Were they high on something? Did they bring me here to get me to become addicted too?

As I let my imagination begin to run away with me a spotlight appeared on the stage.  The silence that occurred was palatable.  The cool night air seemed to stand still as everyone held their breath. 

Soon a giant column of smoke rose up in the middle of the stage.  A man emerged from it. He was dressed in flamboyant clothes that sparkled in the light.  I don’t think there was a color he wasn’t wearing, it hurt my eyes just to look at him. His hair was a dark brown and he had a beard that nearly reached his knees.  It was a pretty impressive set up for being in the middle of a field.  But then everyone around me started screaming as if we were at a rock concert. What was going on?

“Hello friends! Welcome to our humble market. I hope you have enjoyed yourselves so far,” the colorful man began in his best show-man’s voice. “For those of you that are new we extend a special welcome to you.  I’m sure you all are wondering how we got our produce to shine so brilliantly.”

Yeah, I was wondering that, but I was more curious at the enamored faces my siblings had.  I think the man’s suit had some kind of brainwashing effect. 

“Well, I am going to tell you.  It’s magic.” When he said magic he circled his hand over his head, producing a glittering arc above him. He must have thought he was a Disney castle or something. He was certainly bright enough for that.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I doubted that, “’magic isn’t real’ but dear friends it is.”

An attendant from the side placed a pumpkin on the stage.  If he claimed to turn that into a carriage I was out of this freak show. Except he didn’t say anything.  He simply pointed to the squash and it started to glow a deep red color.  Maybe the bioluminescence only reacted with a chemical the aid placed.

“Some of you may be thinking that my partner put something on the pumpkin to make it glow. So now I am going to ask one of you, to pick a plant from anywhere in the field and place it on the stage. How about you my good sir?” he was pointing at my brother, “Have you been here before?”

“I have!” My brother chirped back happily.

“Then will you pick another participant for us, hopefully someone who has never been here.” That was what people would call an ‘Oh, crap’ moment.

You probably guessed it, he picked me.  I still call him a traitor.

I walked out into the field, far away from the stage so that I knew nothing from the stage could affect the produce.  The light was not out here so I had to use my phone flashlight to see. As soon as I turned it on, I saw the perfect specimen.  There was a sorry looking pepper right at my feet.  It was wrinkly and when I touched it the skin felt hard but the insides were definitely rotten.  I trod back to the stage and placed Frank on the opposite side of the stage from where the pumpkin was still glowing.  (I named the pepper, it was a long walk.)

I went back to my seat and when I had finally sat down, the shimmering man once more pointed his hands at the vegetable.  Frank glowed a bright purple, quite impressive for a green pepper. But that wasn’t all, Frank even became unwrinkled before our eyes. It was almost like life and been given back to the pepper.  There was no way they had time to rig something to do that. 

“As you can see ladies and gentlemen, my magic has brought life to this sorry excuse for a pepper and its vitality is shining for all to see.”  Clapping boomed in the area.  He even had me impressed. But there is no way magic is real.

“Now we all invite you to taste of our wares.” A woman had come from the direction of the barn carrying a basket full of teal gleaming apples.  My brother went over to the cue and grabbed an apple for every person in our party.  I didn’t want to eat the apple, but my sister forced me. And by forced I mean she plugged my nose until I couldn’t breath and shoved the apple into my mouth.  She didn’t let go until I had had a bite.

It was, without a doubt, the best apple I had ever eaten. But then something weird happened.  The world started to grow around me. I watched as my sisters stunned face grew and came right above me. What was happening? The world kept moving until I was as tall as a blade of grass. 

I checked my hands, to make sure I was still human and not like a mouse or something. Then the ground started to shake.

The next thing I know I am flying through the air. The colorful man had picked me up and was carrying to the stage. When he spoke, the air around me vibrated with the noise. I had to clap my hands over my ears to keep myself from going deaf.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you what happens when you partake of our fruit and do not believe. This young woman believed that everything could be explained through science. Now she will never forget to see the magic in the world.” He set me down on the stage and the world started moving again.

Next thing I know I am sitting on the wood and my family is running up to me.  

So now dear readers, I see the magic. You don’t really have much of a choice when a colorful wizard makes your life the plot of “Honey, I shrunk the Kids”.